Day 1 Without You

After a really rough night waking up was hard to do. I think I hit snooze at least 5 or 6 times. Hey, just like you used to! ;) Sam was in the bed but he was sound asleep and I was able to get ready for work without waking him. The morning went pretty smoothly actually and I made it to work on time and without a hitch. Jackson said to me when I was getting him ready, "is daddy already at work?" I told him, "No, sweetie, Daddy is in Alaska." He said, "It's okay, he will be home for dinner." I told him, "No, remember he is in Alaska? We won't see him for a while." He said, "Don't worry mom, we will be fine." Jackson, taking after his daddy and knowing just what to say. Such a sweet boy he is. :)

This kid was rocking in the chair and
totally photo bombed the pic! 

Mommy's work

After work I got to talk to you on the phone for a quick minute. Hearing your voice, again, made me feel so much better. Then communications throughout the rest of the day were scattered and minimal, which, as you know, was upsetting to me. I just wanted to know what was going on. 

No pictures please!

Nap time

After work we had lunch and then nap time was shortly after that. I was doing great, I did dishes, laundry, picked up, got stuff ready for work the next day... and then I sat down, alone and there it was again. The loneliness. The emptiness. The aching feeling in my heart. Missing you terribly and crying yet again. Gathering your empty hangers made me cry. Putting away your dishes and coffee thermos made me cry. It was off and on all afternoon. 

After nap sucker

And then before I knew it, nap time was over, and it was dinner time. I made your pizza that you left behind, assuming it would be a hit. Jackson didn't eat at all. Sam ate as much as a grown man. Ha! And then it was bath and bed time again. I was holding on to the hope of skyping but it didn't work out with your schedule. 

He said, "It's not regular pizza!" (pepperoni?)

Chowing down on pizza

Jackson went to bed easy and early and Sam was more difficult and I finally caved and put him in his swing because I was too tired to rock him for hours. 

Trying to do what daddy did.
It didn't work. :(

I was finally able to shower (I was beginning to worry that wasn't going to be possible) and got to talk to you on the phone. I was kind of a mess, huh? But as always, you brought me back. You got me through. And then we skyped too and I knew I could fall asleep peacefully. Unfortunately the boys did not want to sleep peacefully and in the wee hours of the morning we were all piled in our bed together, not sleeping very well at all. The saddest part was Jackson waking in the night screaming that he wanted daddy. I had to let him in our bed after that, it was heartbreaking. 

Rough night

Waking up was even worse than the day before, but the best part was tearing a link off of the chain you and Jackson made. 1 day down 64 to go.