Day 2... a tad easier?

Tired much?

Happy Sammy

Today I cried less than the day before. Yay! Still missing you more than I ever have, EVER. But plugging right along. As you know we had a rough morning, but thankfully going to work keeps me busy, and staying busy is what helps. Today Jackson asked about you more than he has (I was starting to worry) and while I'm happy he is thinking of you, it's sad to hear him say things like, "can daddy come home now?" 

Mooching for goldfish

Once we were home from my work we had lunch, I got Jackson a kids meal from Jack in the Box. He was so cute he said, "Jack in the Box! Like me! I'm Jack too!" and I felt bad because after his lunch he kept asking if he could have his jack in the box. I had to keep explaining to him that jack in the box was the name of the restaurant but he doesn't actually get a jack in the box. He was pretty bummed about that. It was too cute though. 

Sam had PB&J and made a massive mess out of it. Today I had decided I was going to nap when the boys do, and you know me, I rarely do that. And of course Sam was NOT ready for a nap when Jack was so they napped at opposite times and I didn't at all. I managed to survive, just drank more coffee. 

I was so proud of myself today that I remember to take out the recycling can the night before AND brought it back in the next day. I just felt that was worth mentioning because this has always been your job, and it's not a difficult job, it's just one more thing to remember to do. That's the hard part. 

After Jackson woke from his nap I asked him if it would be okay if we ordered take out for dinner, I hadn't planned very well and it was almost dinner time. He said, "ya, mom, that would be fine. We can do that." Thanks buddy! So we ordered Encanto Grill, he requested ravioli and I got that pasta thing I had last time. Then we went outside in the back yard so I could scoop dog poop, oh the joys. Jackson drew some great side walk chalk pictures and dug some holes.  

We went to pick up our dinner and I got to talk to you which, as usual, made my day. Jackson did not eat his requested ravioli (what is up with this kid!?) but he did eat some frozen blueberries, garlic toast and drank all his milk. Sammy chowed down on all of it and just about cleaned his plate. 

We got to Skype with you. YAY! And I'm not sure, but it seemed like it was hard for you when Jackson was asking you to come home. That was hard for me too. I'm glad they got to see your face though. 

Bath time tonight was quick, get in, get clean, get out. It was kinda late. Jackson put all the toys away, as usual. One of the many skills daddy taught him, thank you for that. And then he went right to bed. I nursed and held Sam for a long time, tried putting him to bed and he just screamed. I finally decided to put him in his swing, again. I feel I am totally failing with his bed time situation and I can't get him to sleep like you used to. I try the things you say you do and they don't work for me. I just hope we can figure it out eventually. 

I was so incredibly tired after the boys went to bed but I stayed up anyways. I needed to just sit there in the quiet and have some alone time. Plus I forgot to start the diaper laundry so I was waiting on that too. But I didn't cry. I was alone, and I was okay. I did watch Surviving Jack, which was hilarious and made me miss you because I knew you would've been laughing with me. I also watched Big Bang Theory, also hilarious, also made me miss your laughter. I didn't delete them from our DVR though... I thought you might want to watch them when you get home. 

Thankfully both boys slept all night without waking, I was grateful for that. And I only cried a little before falling asleep. 

All in all today was a little easier. I think it will just continue to get easier from here on out.

Just want you to know that I love you, miss you, and I am so incredibly proud of you. Thank you for all that you're doing for us. Thank you for being so wonderful. Thank you for taking such good care of us.  

2 days down, 62 to go!!!